NEW YEARS 2006

Just moments before my head burst into flames
(I wish they had snapped this picture a little sooner)

On new years eve i went to a party at my friend gareths house. I dont really like parties but gareth has a reputation for throwing bashes which are

1. Attended by people i already know and like
2. Known for having crazy stuff happen

At his fourth of july party two guys stood near the bonfire, had themsleves ignited, ran the length of the dock while engulfed in flames, and dove into the lake at the end.

Since i had been crashing on couches and sleeping whereever i fell in Tennessee for the last few months, everyone had a lot of new adventures and projects to tell me about. Randy and G and i jabbered about sailing and ju-jitsu, and we played some stupid drinking game, and david and danny and i had a good walk and talk. I also got the chance to talk to dougs new gf natalie, who seemed pretty smart and not nearly as crazy as doug himself, which made me happy.

There was some guy I had never met before at the party also. He was quite drunk, and he seemed dissapointed to meet me. "Whats so great about you?" he kept asking.
"umm.. I dont know"
"I could take you" he stammered

I was not about to fight him, he was VERY wobbly on his feet and probably had no idea what he was saying.

As the evening waned, gareth asked how his party rated. I told him it ranked at about an 8, since no one had caught fire (you see where this is going)

Then randy and i started talking about how we used to practice fire tasting at Fredonia. Soon, we had a jug of flamable liqid and some flaming torches. A small crowd assembled on the snow covered deck to watch. Not that by this time randy was quite drunk and i tho i was by no means drunk I had swallowed a *little* cahmpagine and a smallish glass of of jack daniels also.

I preformed the fire tasters routine i had practiced, passing the torch slowly along the skin, passing the fingers through the flames, puting the flame in my mouth and "swallowing" it, then the finale, the fireball blowout!

Everyone seemed duly impressed, but then more people came out and insisted i do it agian. Gareth also wanted to take pictures. So i did the routine again. Then yet more people showed up, complaining that they had missed it. Good judgement would dictate that when one has already spit a mist of flamable liquid everywhere not once but twice, it is a good idea to dry off before blowing another fireball. I was not exactly using good judgement however.

I spit another fireball, quite a large one. Unfortunately, some fuel that had stuck unconsumed on my face caught fire. Rather a large amount actualy. My head burst into a (rather impressive I was told later) ball of flame. In a fraction of a second i dove head first into the snow, then extinguished my arm, which somehow also caught fire. I had Gareth bring me a pickel to eat to get the taste of fuel out of my mouth.

I went into the bathroom to survey the dammage. I had first and second degree burns on the left side of my face, and second degree burns inside my nose and one ear. Painfull, but no big deal. I cleaned them and applyed some antibiotic.

When i returned to the party the guy who had wanted to fight me came over. He gave me a strange look, probably checking for char, then before long he struck up a conversation. He asked why i had been in tennessee (buming around, walking the streets, trying to sort out some personal problems) and about school, then we talked about soccer and sailing and this and that and were good friends after all.

This doesnt really make much sense to me, but apparently lighting your head on fire is a good way to make friends. Still, i will be carefull not to do anything that stupid again.

The dumb thing is, the picture G took of the fireball isnt that good. I am half tempted to do it again so he can take a better one...

INNER COASTAL TRIP: FLORIDA AND GEORGIA SEA ISLANDS, SUMMER 2005

Here is another attempt to document a past adventure.

After the Algonquin trip, my brother Doug asked me to help him sail a boat he planned to aquire from Florida to North Carolina. This was to be quite an adventure for both of us. Doug and I both have considerable sailing experience, but mostly with small boats. At that point neither of us new much about sailing in the ocean or in costal waters.

Dougs plan was to find a run down old yacht which he could purchase cheaply, sail it on the ocean to NC where he was living, and fix it up to live aboard. In order to prepare for the trip, i read some natuical books and talked to some of my friends who were wiser than we in the ways of the sea. They all seemed to agree on one thing. Taking a dilapitated boat in the open ocean with a crew that did not know the sea durring huricane season would be suicide.

We totaly went anyway. It turned out to be a good experience for both of us.

The boat Doug had planned on getting origionaly turned out to be a dud. When the water was pumped out of the blige, we discovered the ribs were too rotten for the boat to be even remotely seaworthy. The mast had termites. After some scrambling, Doug settled on a much smaller but much more structuraly sound boat. I kind of regret advising him to buy it. The good thing about it was that it was seaworthy enough to sail to NC, unlike all the other boats we saw. The bad thing about it was that it was small and NOT really what doug had wanted. I still regret that i did not help him find a larger boat. I think he may have been much happier. On the other hand, if we had gotten a larger boat, it would have ended up lying on its side in the muck the first night and we would have never gotten out of the saint johns river in the first place. So it goes.

We set out under motor from Mandarin FL, about Top: on Atlantic, Doug at the helm
50 m from the atlantic. We motored all day down river Bottom: Us at Jacksonville
then prepared to drop anchor for the night. It was here
That we first ran into trouble. The place where we chose to anchor for the night turned out to be a little shallow. Any by a little, I mean that when low tide came round we found ourselves sitting high and dry on land. DOH! DIDINT THE CHART SAY IT WAS DEEP HERE? SON OF A #%&@! If we had been in a larger boat with a fixed keel, i am pretty sure we would have ended up lying on our side when the tide came in. That means the boat almost certainly would have filled with water and sunk. Fortunately, our little boat had a flattish bottom and a swing keel, so it took the grounding fairly well. When the tide came in, we motored on.

Up river there was a ship yard. It was nuts to be in a little sail boat when an ocean liner went by. The decks of some of the liners were taller than out mast. As we passed a shipyard, we spotted some coasties in runnabouts. We stopped the boat to figure out what to do, as they appeared to be blocking the channel. As soon as we stopped the engine, the coast guard charged up. "HEY, WHY ARE YOU STOPPING! THIS ZONE IS RESTRICTED FOR NATIONAL SECURITY REASONS. NO STOPPING ALOUD!".

Wierd, eh?

For the next two days, a coast guard helocopter followed us wherever we went.

We stopped at the mouth of the st. George to pick up a few luxury items we had overlooked, like a gps, weather radio, and of course the nautical charts of the coast. Then, for the first time, we entered the Atlantic.

The sea was calm and the breeze was crisp. For the first time, we set the sails. For the next five hours, there was nothing but the sea, the wind, and the sun.

When it came time to reenter the intercoastal for the night, we ran into trouble. We nearly ran into a submerged breakwall, barely escaping the crush of the sea and the sharp rocks. Thus we learned a valuable lesson. READ the charts.

Next, we anchored for the night and went to sleep.

Five hours later, the boat resting solidly on dry land. SHIT!!! After much scrambling and cursing, we said fuck it and went to sleep.

We sailed on the ocean when we could, but it was storm season. Every afternoon, violent thunderstorms would roll. Rain would fall in sheets, and lightening splintered the sky. For fear of being caught at sea, we motored in the inner coastal waters alot. More than we would have liked.

Doug was not happy because our travel speed was slower than anticipated. Much slower. It was hot. Gas was expensive.

But there were good things too. Some days, dolphins would come and swim along side us. We saw alligaors, sharks, flamingos, birds i had never even imagined. One day we got to make them pull up a draw bridge so we could go under. Another time we saw a real shipwreck, a fishing boat lying on its side in the shallows, its ribs showing in some places. That was awsome. We would motor and sail all day in the intense florida heat, and anchor every night in some remote sheltered spot.

Day after day we would take turns sitting at the helm and napping. On the water you eventualy enter a zen state. You forget about everything except where you are and what you are doing. You sit and watch and just be.

We had a good time, and doug and i had time to really talk.

Unfortunately, the boat never made it to north carolina. The boat was moving to slowly, and our money ran out. We pulled into svannah on day seven or eight. We walked to an amazing resturant by the savannah river and ate on the second floor of the deck, a sort of tree house and dining room in one. A huge oak came up through the center of the floor and fanned out overhead. A man played sad songs on a guitar and we contemplated what to do next.

"well it seems like there is only one thing to do" said Doug "I am tired of living aboard and this is taking forever and costing too much. I am going to have to sell the boat".

We sat for a long time at the resturant. Then, quietly, walked back to the boat.

That night i sat on the deck of the marina and looked at the moon. The marina was named bahia, after the famous brazilian city from which capoeira sprang. There was only one thing to do. I started to play. Kicking and dancing and flipping in the moonlight. The cool night air felt so good.

It was months ago now, but now and again i still think about what it was like, on a small boat on a big ocean, just my brother and me and the sea and the sky.

EMPTY CUP MIND

(Warning: Tonights entry is kinda long and touches on digger psychology. Some of the content may seem bizzare. I would advise most of my friends not to read it. Ye have been warned.)

Tonight i was alone and had nothing to do, so I went out driving. Eventualy I somehow ended up at Fredonia college. I visited the lawn behind the art building, where my friends and i once spent a semester building a long house. The university buldozed the house years ago. Now the is nothing there but unbroken green lawn. They also fired the professor that let us build it because one day in class he told a joke involving underwear. One of the girls in our class decided she had been sexualy harrassed. Her parents were big benefactors of the college, so heath got fired. Fuck you Fredonia.

I lived here for two years.
I never really belonged here.
I wish i had.

I walked around campus for hours, feeling lonely and thinking too much. The noise inside my head was driving me nuts.

I needed quiet.

Dunkirk beach is on the shore of lake eire. This particular beach is flanked by a sewage treatment plant. From the cliffs above the water, you can't see anything except the trees and the earth, the water and the sky. Here, you feel like you are the only person on earth.

By moonlight I walked passed the obligatory pair of lovers down onto the sand. The couple sat quietly, looking at the sky. Down on the beach, there were three gigantic letters etched in the sand. S. O. S.

I sat on a broken slab of concrete and closed my eyes. I could hear the waves lapping sofly on the sand. I tried to breathe. For a long time i sat perfectly still, in the near silence. I tried to make it as quiet on the inside as it was on the outside. I almost succeded. I opened my eyes and the world looked much clearer. The stars were coming out and the air was still. The lake was as smooth as glass. Finaly, Empty Cup Mind.

When i was fifteen, i independently stumled upon something people had known for thousands of years. (Dr. Joe would point out that when different people discover the same thing independently it is called called polygenesis). I discovered that if i could quiet all the talking in my head, i could feel... Like every moment seemed fresh and new as snow at christmas. I walked around for the next two years with a smile on my face. My life changed compeletly. Wherea before i had been angry and introverted, I became kind of mellow and happy, and much more popular. I didnt know it at the time but i later found out I had learned to enter the state taoists call Empty Cup Mind. A state of nearly pure spontaneous existence. Then, I dont know remember why, but slowly the noise came back. I just culdn't keep it out anymore, or maybe i didnt want to. One day a man i barely knew asked me "hey, what happened to you? You used to smile all the time." But i could'nt go back. I didn't know how.

Till today as I stood on the beach in dunkirk, the great lake streaching to the horizon. At that moment i wished i had a boat so i could sail away across the endless black, in search of some strange new land. I bent over to pick up a handfull of sand to throw, but found a solid slab of rock instead. I laughed out loud and started to play capoeira, alone. My macacos and batidos were ungracefull, but i felt the ache flowing through me like never before. I jumped and flipped and danced alone on the stone by the water. The movement had never felt so pure before. I roared at the darkness and smiled and started to run as fast as i could down the beach. The cold air felt good in my lungs. I waved my arms and shouted, suddenly gratefull to be alive. Somehow i had almost remembered. Empty Cup Mind. I let out another ROAR!!!!

I blasted the radio and mooed at the cows by the road on the way home. It was like a manic episode times 50, only i didnt fear the inevitable crash. Of course, every high leads into a low and vice versa. But tonight, i remembed something I had forgotten a long time ago.

Don't forget again, digger.
Dont forget again.
Dont forget again.



Peace

Good news! I got a job! I have to go to Utah and backpack around in the mountains and deserts and stuff... and i get paid a lot for it! I count this as a two in one. I not only make phat cash to finance some adventuring, but the company that hired me does wilderness therapy. In other words, my job it to make sure people have an awsome adventure of their own and maybe i even help them out a little with a problem or something. Not bad considering i only started this project 9 days ago eh?

When i took enviromental lit. i had to read Edward Abbeys Desert Solitare. It is an amazing book. When i read it I wanted to go see arches and the maze so bad. Now it is three years later and i get the chance to go LIVE THERE!!! Woot!

Of course, there are some draw backs. Like no drinking and the Mormons...

The strange thing is, i am just crashing in WNY right now, at my parents or my friends house or where ever i happen to fall asleep. There really isnt anything for me here... yet i am a little reluctant to leave. It isnt that i like it here, i dont at all. The thing is, for a long time now I havent stayed in one place more than a year or two at most. Going somewhere new by myself where i dont know anyone AGAIN, *sigh*. Of course, i am used to going it alone. Still, it would be nice to have someone to share something like this with.

Oh well. Some day maybe. Anyway I am sure i will make new friends. I have always been blessed with inordinately good friends. The desert and backpacking and helping people have a blast rocks my socks off!!!

Night all

Algonquin trip
Nick and Jordan at sunset on Maple lake 7/24/05

(This is probably the best photo I have ever taken)

While i have some down time, im gunna post some notes from past projects.

In July of 2005 i had the opportunity to co-lead a ten day trip to the Algonquin wilderness in Ontario Canada. It was incredible. Algonquin Provincial Park covers almost 3,ooo square miles of clear lakes and ancient forests. A profound silence pervades this place. At night, when the sun is setting and the stars first start to come out, the feeling is indescribable.

One of the most popular activities on our trip was cliff jumping. My co-guide Gary had a mental map of good jump rocks he had compiled over the course of 30 years as a visitor here. At the end of the first day, Gary, the kids and i canoed over to the jump rock. The kids stood at the top of the cliff and looked scepticaly over the edge. The drop was long and jagged rocks poked out near the waters edge. Everyone looked skeptical.

Jamie turned to us and asked doubtfully "are you SURE this is safe?"

"You are about to jump off a cliff," Replied Gary "Hell no its not safe!".

"oh... ok."

Jamie jumped. Then Joe. Then everyone else. Then we all jumped off at once. Within fifteen minutes, people were diving over the edge head first holding a camera in one hand and soap in the other. By the end of the day, we had also determined the answer to the age old question, "If Nick falls off a cliff at the exact same time as a pine cone, which will hit the water first?"

Somehow, knowing that you could die if you fucked up made it ok to jump. I don't really understand why this is, but i like it very much. Jamies First Jump
7/21/05

On the trip we encountered a lot of wildlife. Over the course of the trip members of our group had encounters with wolves, mink, woodpeckers, and LOTS of moose. The closest moose encounter we had happened when we saw a moose at the end of a long portage. The moose was wading a a field of lillies about 50 yards from the end of the portage. As each person arrived, they quietly set down their equipment and sat on the bank to watch it.

After a few minutes, i left the bank went back to help a few stragglers. When i returned, the moose had moved closer yet to the group, and several people were taking pictures. However, when i came back down the trail, the mooses head snapped up. It looked right at us. Then, for no discernable reason, it started to head right twards us. "sit still" hissed Gary to the kids.

The moose came closer. Soon it was only about fifteen yards from the group. Camera shutters clicked. Then the moose was ten yards away. The shutters went silent. Then the moose was RIGHT IN FRONT of the group. Everyone sat as still as stones. Then the moose walked RIGHT PAST the kids and headed up the trail, RIGHT TWARDS ME.

The moose stopped right in front of me. It shook its huge antlers around and looked irritated. It stared me right in the eye.

Opps! Shit, I made eye contact! Never make eye contact! The moose went crazy. It started to bellow and wave its head. It stamped its feet. It looked Like it wanted to tear something appart.

Then it turned around and tried to walk around me. It pressed into the thicket next to the trail, trying to squeeze past by another route. I didn't move. I knew if i did i would run, and it would chase me. Finaly, bellowing and looking very irritated, it backed out of the thicket and swam back across the river. It peed all up and down the oposite bank, as if to say "You may have won that side of the river, but THIS SIDE IS STILL MINE!" I laughed at that. In hindsight.

We had lots of other amazing adventures in the Algonquin, and we made some new friends too. But the thing that would stick with me the most was the feeling of the place. Everyone agreed that this wilderness was one of the most amazing places they had ever been, but all of them said that though they loved it, they did not really feel at home there. They all talked about the things they missed back home, hot showers and tv and mom and this and that. I never felt that way at all. To me, from the start the Algonquin felt like where i belonged.

In fact, it felt that way so much i was loathe to leave. There was nothing waiting for me back home. I didn't even really have a home to go back to. In fact, i was only missing one thing. Someone to share it with. If i had someone who would have stayed with me, a nice girl perhaps, I might have stayed forever. But i knew i had to leave. Some day, if i am very lucky, I hope to go back.

Hi! Welcome to my blogg. I'm digger, i'm 24 years old. I'm from a small town in Western New York, and i recently graduated from East Tennesee State University with a masters degree in oral storytelling.
I started this blogg two do two things. The first one is to document strange and interesting stuff that happens to me so my friends can read about it. My friends got scattered all over the world, And i thought they might be interested in reading about whats been going on, since im pretty bad at keeping in touch through other means.
The second reason i stareted this blogg is to help me keep me on track. After i finished school, I decided to set the next five years asside to explore and do interesting new stuff while im attachment free.

To this end, i have set 5 big goals:

1. Visit forgin contries on at least 2 continents.
Live in one forgin country for at least a year, and learn a language.

2. Fall in love at least once, maybe more than once.

3. Master at least 3 new skills.
These skills may include:
Attending massage school and learning to give a killer massage.
Going to brazil and becoming skilled in capoiera, the brazilan fight dance game.
Becoming good at juggling knives, or at poi juggling.

Substitute skills might be added. However, by the end of my twenties, i want to be skilled at
least three things. Unlike now, where I am mediocre at about 500,000,000 things and truly
skilled at 0 things.

4. Spend a significant amount of time working on a project that helps make peoples lives
better. I know it is much harder than people often think to be successfull at this, butI would
really like to try doing something that might make life better for someone. This may
involve working with children, the environment, or both.

5. Earn enouugh money to accomplish these goals without going into debt. Save 10.000 by the
time five years is over.


So there is the plan. 5 big goals, all of which are to be finnished before i am 29. Ambitious, yes, but i think it can be done.

If you have any sugjestions about specific projects, or if any of these goals sound interesting to you, drop me a line. A project is always more fun if you have a friend to share it with. I'll keep ya posted.


Digger


P.S. Special props to Emo for giving me the idea for this blogg project =)